Happy New Year...

This is THE YEAR! The year of my WEDDING! I AM GETTING MARRIED THIS YEAR!! Holy crap, how the hell did we get here so fast?! I can't wait though, I'm so excited, Dave is absolutely, 210% the love of my life and my life would be nowhere near as complete without him. And I could gush all night but I wont...mostly 'cause I get all lovey dovey and it makes people feel a little bit sick...

Y'know what...

just f*ck right off you stuck up snobby cow. Just p*ss off and go enjoy your little rich life and leave me to mine you heartless b*tch. You're thinking of spending £15K on your wedding are you? Good for you. Thanks for rubbing it in after I confided in you as to just how much we're struggling to afford ours (and we're not even spending half of what you're planning, including our honeymoon). Mummy and daddy paying for it all? That's nice. My mum did the most thoughtful thing and has paid for my dress and my little sister's, despite being a single parent on part time wages. Custom dress at £1500? I hope that you get too fat for it. Ridiculously expensive caterers? At least people will eat the food that's served at ours.
You know what? At least our wedding will be 100% ours and after the day is done we'll be proud to know that we worked damned hard to get our dream wedding. You wont be able to say the same.

Sometimes I just can't get my head around life...

Life is a funny ol' thing and Mother Nature is a cruel mistress. I've had so much bad news in the past few days that my brain is refusing point blank to digesting it. Firstly, my gran, is likely not to be coming to our wedding 'cause she had a tiff with my mum after my mum stood up for me. Secondly, our old flatmate, and dear friend, is in the first stages of heart failure. He's only 24 for crying out loud! He's already had one transplant and we are praying to every being that there is possibly out there in the Cosmos that he gets another one, we just can't imagine him not being in our lives and I don't want to face that prospect. And thirdly, the fiance (having just announced their engagement) of another one of our very best friends, is terribly ill with a blood clot in his heart and multiple melanomas and again, we're praying that he pulls through and gets better because we don't want to have to see our friend go through that heartbreak.

Why does life have to pick on the good ones? It's not fair and it's not right, these people are loved and wanted in lives and lives would be emptier without them, so, to whoever may be out there, please don't take our friends away from us, their families and everyone else that loves and wants them in their lives. Ok?

New Job!

Oh, completely forgot to mention that I've now left the restaurant and I'm working for Intercontinental Hotels...it's going well, so far (thankfully there's no constraints on my make-up!)

Panicing and crying...

Less than 10 months to go and I'm panicing about everything; I'm panicing about affording the wedding, affording a honeymoon, keeping everyone entertained and happy at the reception, keeping everyone happy full stop. When did our wedding become about everyone else?! It's our day, yet all we seem to be doing is trying to please everyone else. I tell you, if we didn't have any deposits put down it would be tempting to run off and do it all abroad!

Had a few off days lately. For the first time in years Father's Day really got to me. (Quick history, Nick buggered off when I was 5 & Mum was pregnant with my little sister, havn't seen him since I was about 8, he's now living with his long term partner Paul and little sister got back in contact with him at Christmas time.) We'd been out to see Dave's Dad the day before and as the wedding gets closer I'm missing my Granpa more and more...doesn't seem too much but on top of everything it just made me crack. I've learned to accept, though, that from time to time, I just need to have a cry and it makes everything seem that wee bit brighter at the end of it.

Not going to bring the mood down any further otherwise I'll be a state for Dave when he gets in and I can't be having that!

Nikki

And I made it...

There were no tearful goodbyes or fervent promises made to "keep in touch". I came, I worked and I left quietly... Now I wont lie and say I wont miss anything, I will miss Kit and Alan a heck of a lot, they were my guys, the people at work I went to when I needed a wee bit of breathing space and a reason to smile. I must admit they got me pretty good leaving presents, a beautiful photo frame and a handbag I've been eyeing up for a while (that in no way could I justify spending that amount of cash on!).
....So onto my new job...I work as a waitress. That's about it. I'm seeing if I can slowly introduce some retro into my working wardrobe, I'm not allowed to wear heavy makeup or nail polish but I figure I can get away with a little black eyeliner and some benetint lip stain...fingers crossed!

2 weeks to go...

Well, 9 working days to be precise, until I am out of that ill cut, unflattering, navy blue, corporate suit! I think the shirts will make good dusters... I simply cannot wait, I actually don't care who offers me a job as long as I don't have to sell credit cards and savings acounts and be nice to absolute a*******s who tell me that "their" tax payers money pays my wages. Wait, you think, 'cause the government owns the company, that I don't have to pay tax? I wish! Sod off. You've got more friggin' money than sense anyway!
Anyways, I've started a new job in a bar to try make ends meet for the time being and I love it. Actually love it. And all the running around is majorly helping my shrinking efforts too!
There's nothing much else new in my life at the moment...the wedding is fast approaching so we're attempting to save for that, difficult on one wage with bar tips topping it up, but we're getting through it, if we can get through this we can get through anything!
I also really want a puppy...