I want to get off! Please, for the love of God, let me get out the fast lane! Taking stock on my way to work the other day I realised that this is not where I want to be in life. I do not want to blend into a faceless, suited crowd with identical hairstyles, make-up looks and sensible shoes. I desperately want to let the glamourpuss that resides inside of me, out!
My manager, having deemed that seamed stockings, red lipstick, black eyeliner and heels over 3 inches, were unsuitable for the workplace has since banned me from wearing them with the line "Why can't you look normal?". I nearly quit on the spot. Needless to say that, 2 months in, I'm looking for another job, I can't stand to be suffocated and be told that who I am is wrong. My mother told me not to be so stupid and just deal with it, as I pointed out to her, I'm far too young to settle for second best and nor should I feel like I have to.
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Hurrah!
I woke up this morning at the blissful time of 9.30 (as opposed to 6.30) knowing that I didn't have to go to work today which instantly puts me in a good mood. Further to this, as I was washing my face I noticed that I have a total of 2 visible spots, and athough my eyebrows need doing, I'm ecstatic that my skin is finally responding well to treatment and clearing up! Girls, I swear by elemis and cleansing wipes that I bought from Iceland, of all places, which I use solely to take my make up off at the end of the day, although if anyone has tips for getting off MAC Fluidline eyeliner, please pass them on, it always stays on until I shower the next morning. Gym sessions are going fantastically, they have a hulaerobics class there which I'm finding immense fun and some changes are starting to show. I still daren't weigh myself as I'm afraid I will get into a bit of a destructive routine but I'm getting there!
I adore it and I plan to buy it in a medium (waist 26, at last measurement I was a 27 waist, meaning I have already lost an inch, yeay!). I absolutely love how positive I'm feeling, and to those who have offered kind words of support, I thank you, it means a lot.
As a reward I fully intend to buy this dress for my birthday night out:
I adore it and I plan to buy it in a medium (waist 26, at last measurement I was a 27 waist, meaning I have already lost an inch, yeay!). I absolutely love how positive I'm feeling, and to those who have offered kind words of support, I thank you, it means a lot.
Sunday, 4 January 2009
Some thoughts.
Once someone commented that I was perhaps too honest and open for my own good, maybe so, but as mentioned in a previous post, I'm not one for varying degrees of bull, I'm always going to be as straightforward as the day I was born. Which leads me to this:
I am deeply unhappy with my appearance, to the point where I looked in the mirror this morning and wanted to cry. It's no secret that for years I have battled heavily with depression and body dismorphic disorder linked with "eating disorders of a non-specific type", but this time I'm taking a different approach to treating myself (unfortunately, I find that going to see professionals is a short term, and expensive, solution and I do not want to pay for tablets that may improve my mood, but do nothing for my figure). Yesterday I went out and bought a wii with the promise that I will receive a wii fit for my birthday which is in little over 6 weeks. In the mean time I have joined the gym and invested in a rigourous skin care routine. My target weight is 10st (last weigh-in at the hospital showed me to be 11st4) and I want my waist back at a stable 25". I may even buy a hula hoop.
I will keep the updates coming...hopefully on the more positive than negative side of things though.
I am deeply unhappy with my appearance, to the point where I looked in the mirror this morning and wanted to cry. It's no secret that for years I have battled heavily with depression and body dismorphic disorder linked with "eating disorders of a non-specific type", but this time I'm taking a different approach to treating myself (unfortunately, I find that going to see professionals is a short term, and expensive, solution and I do not want to pay for tablets that may improve my mood, but do nothing for my figure). Yesterday I went out and bought a wii with the promise that I will receive a wii fit for my birthday which is in little over 6 weeks. In the mean time I have joined the gym and invested in a rigourous skin care routine. My target weight is 10st (last weigh-in at the hospital showed me to be 11st4) and I want my waist back at a stable 25". I may even buy a hula hoop.
I will keep the updates coming...hopefully on the more positive than negative side of things though.
Saturday, 3 January 2009
And a happy new year to you all...
I hope everyone had a great Christmas and a fantastic new year. I also hope that those who gave up smoking as their resolution have stuck to it thus far.
Girls, have you read this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1103749/The-height-feminism-Or-high-heels-demean-women-sex-objects.html ? Apparently the wearing of heels is anti-feminist, demeans us and makes us little more than prostitutes...Unless, of course, you take the "for" argument and think that they're wonderful. I, personally, think heels are wonderful. And having just asked Dave, he thinks they are too. They make me feel sexy and femine. I like the fact that they bring my tiny 5ft2 stature up to a respectable 5ft5 at the very least. Not that I think being petite is always a bad thing, I just believe that a lot of people still think height = power and without height I'm kinda stuck when it comes to power. My legs look elongated and I'm instantly given better posture. Also, as a purely medical note, I suffer heavily with a condition called shin splints, as well as having high arches, I find that heels both support my arches and relieves the, sometimes crippling, pain in my shins, which is as good a reason as any to be wearing them.
Ladies, if for whatever reason you don't want to wear heels, whether you think that they demean you or are just plain uncomfortable, that's fine, but for goodness sake, don't try to make me feel bad for wearing them as refusals often offend.
Girls, have you read this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1103749/The-height-feminism-Or-high-heels-demean-women-sex-objects.html ? Apparently the wearing of heels is anti-feminist, demeans us and makes us little more than prostitutes...Unless, of course, you take the "for" argument and think that they're wonderful. I, personally, think heels are wonderful. And having just asked Dave, he thinks they are too. They make me feel sexy and femine. I like the fact that they bring my tiny 5ft2 stature up to a respectable 5ft5 at the very least. Not that I think being petite is always a bad thing, I just believe that a lot of people still think height = power and without height I'm kinda stuck when it comes to power. My legs look elongated and I'm instantly given better posture. Also, as a purely medical note, I suffer heavily with a condition called shin splints, as well as having high arches, I find that heels both support my arches and relieves the, sometimes crippling, pain in my shins, which is as good a reason as any to be wearing them.
Ladies, if for whatever reason you don't want to wear heels, whether you think that they demean you or are just plain uncomfortable, that's fine, but for goodness sake, don't try to make me feel bad for wearing them as refusals often offend.
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