My name badge is lying wherever it landed after I threw it in a state of disgust. My uniform has been discarded. The pins holding my hair in it's regulated bun are lying on the top of my drawers and the work make up has been scrubbed off. I am currently sat in my leopard print pj's with my hair up in rollers, my red lipstick intact and I finally feel calm.
I have become a nameless face in a corporate crowd and I hate it.
Explanation:
On my way to work this morning I passed an old work mate of mine standing outside a workplace that we spent a lot of time in together and I felt a horrible pang of jealousy. I wanted to get off that bus, get into my tech clothes and join him! I miss theatre so much, a feeling that, I'm afraid, will only get worse over the coming month, being that the festival is on it's way. However, I gave up theatre as I felt that I needed the dependency of a guaranteed salary every month. I wonder if it was the wrong decision. My work mates in theatre adored the fact that I was a little bit different, not quite cool, but different enough to be interesting. They loved that I would prance up in the morning with a new hairstyle or a different make up look with my all black attire and work boots and feel comfortable in it. They loved me. My current colleagues do not love me, I'm not one of them, I'm not corporate to the bone. It's not even about the staff as a collective, I can deal with them, it's their individual attitudes that stink. They're suspicious of anything that's different, meaning they're suspicious of me. And it's not all about the people either. My current job is all about deadlines, paper work and money. All of which I find stressful. There's not a creative element in my current job, something I miss desperately.
All in all, I'm just not cut out for the corporate market and I would like a way out, if that's not too much to ask.
